I remember the weeks, even months leading up to my 30th birthday, like it was yesterday. I was anxious, a little bit scared, and mostly, I was sad. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I hadn’t accomplished enough, that my life was somehow incomplete, and that I was running out of time. Turning 30 felt like the end of an era, the end of my youth, and the beginning of a new chapter that I wasn’t sure I was ready for. Honestly, I started to have terrible anxiety.. I was also having a tough time at my job back then and struggled to cope with american passive racism in good ole’ North Carolina.
To escape my anxiety, I took a spontaneous trip to Turkey and Lebanon just 4 months before my birthday. It made me realize I wanted to explore the world, so what if I was turning 30. In fact, something happened during my travels, and I changed my mindset. This was going to be a new beginning. i started to feel somewhat excited about my 30s.
Looking back, I realize now that I was experiencing what many call the “thirty-something blues.” It’s a feeling of confusion and uncertainty that many people experience when they hit this milestone age. There are so many expectations and societal pressures that come with turning 30. Especially worse if you are Asian, Middle Eastern, and a woman. It’s a time when we’re supposed to have it all figured out, to be settled in our careers, to have started families, to own homes, and to be financially stable. I had none of those.
But the truth is, life doesn’t always go according to plan. For some of us, our 30s may bring unexpected challenges and setbacks. We may face career changes, relationship struggles, health issues, and financial problems. And that’s okay. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes it’s normal to feel scared and uncertain. I think that makes life exciting. 2 weeks before my big 30th, I packed up my bags and moved to Washington, D.C. It was my first big move since college. I didn’t know anyone there or anything about the city, but I knew it would be great, and it was.
What I’ve learned in the years since I turned 30 is that it’s important to allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully. It’s okay to feel sad, scared, or overwhelmed. These feelings can help us process them and move forward, and that’s what we want- to move forward, to grow. Remembering that we don’t have to have it all figured out is important. Life is a journey, and there is no one right way to live it. Listen, people will make you feel bad and like you are behind- you are not. This is life; we don’t plan it. I mean, if we could, wouldn’t we all be living like queens right now? Haha
One thing that has helped me to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of my 30s is to focus on gratitude and to remember life is too short. I’ve made a conscious effort to practice gratitude every day, to appreciate the people and experiences in my life, and to celebrate my accomplishments, no matter how small. It’s also helpful to surround ourselves with supportive people, whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist. But remember, today’s world is lonely; you are all you’ve got most of the time. So learn to become your biggest cheerleader, comforter, and supporter.
Turning 30 can be challenging and emotional, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. It’s okay to feel scared, uncertain, or sad. We don’t have to have it all figured out. I think 30s is for you to finally live your authentic life and own it. I personally have been loving my 30s a lot since I shifted my mindset.. 30s truly are amazing, you learn to love self in a much different way.
Happy 30th!
