I Left My Baby for a Week for Work. Here’s What Happened.

almost didn’t go.
Travel has always been a big part of my job. I’ve done it for years. But this time there was a Rania. And the comments started before I even packed a bag.
Oh you’re leaving her already? She’s so young. Always with a smile.
My husband never flinched. Go. We’ll be fine. That meant everything.
So I went.
I sat with the guilt the entire flight to Lisbon. What kind of mother does this?
Then I got to my hotel room. Put my bag down. Sat in the silence.
Oh. I needed this.
Night one I slept without waking up once.
End of day two — her face. Her smell. The weight of her. My husband’s voice. I started checking the time difference every hour.
By day three my heart was being squeezed. I have never wanted a flight home more desperately in my life.
To every mother who’s gotten those comments — the subtle ones, wrapped in concern, that made you question yourself:
Leaving your baby to do your job does not make you a bad mother.
Needing space does not make you a bad mother.
If anything, Lisbon reminded me who I am outside of the 6pm to 6am shift. And coming home reminded me who I want to be.
Rania looked at me like I’d never left.
I held her so tight.
And I thought — this is exactly why I went. And exactly why I came back.
Have you ever traveled for work and left your baby behind? Tell me in the comments — I want to know I’m not alone in this.