The Un-Bucket List: 15 Things to Let Go of in Your 30s (and Finally Breathe)

Remember when we were kids and thought adults in their 30s had life all figured out? Yeah, that was a lie, lol.

Thirty comes with this weird pressure to be “settled”—career in place, relationship locked in, finances sorted, thriving socially, mentally, emotionally… basically a walking Pinterest board of success. But honestly? No one really has it all together. And I’ve decided my 30s aren’t about chasing perfection—they’re about letting go of the things that drain me, stress me out, and keep me stuck.

So here’s my Un-Bucket List—the things I’m releasing so I can finally feel lighter, freer, and just live.

1. The Myth of “Having It All”

Trying to be the perfect partner, parent, professional, and friend all at once? Exhausting. Balance isn’t about doing everything—it’s about doing what actually matters.

2. The Social Media Comparison Trap

Instagram is a highlight reel, not real life. I had to unfollow accounts that make me feel “less than” and instead I have been focusing on my own journey and also trying to live in the moment instead of trying to capture it all for the ‘gram.

3. The Fear of Not Being “Enough”

Oof, this one is deep. For years, I felt like I had to prove my worth—to certain people, to society, to myself. But I have to constantly remind myself: My worth isn’t measured by achievements, money, validation, or productivity. I am enough, as I am, right now. And so are you!

4. The Need to Please Everyone

You can’t. And trying will only leave you drained. Set boundaries. Say no. Protect your peace. People-pleasing/ trying to inspire others is often also a trauma response- but it’s time to heal, set boundaries, and put yourself first.

5. Toxic Relationships

Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. If someone constantly drains your energy—walk away. Energy doesn’t lie. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, just that their path is no longer aligned with yours.

6. Guilt Over “Not Doing Enough”

That never-ending to-do list? Yeah, it’ll always be there. Some days I knock things out like a boss, other days I just exist—and both are valid. Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s necessary.

7. Fear of Failure

You want to start a business? Do it. Take that exam? Go for it. Change careers? Why not? If you fail, so what? You tried—and that’s more than most people ever do.

8. The Pressure to Follow a Certain Timeline

Marriage, kids, a house, career success—there is no deadline. Move at your own pace. I got married at 34, got my dream job as a contract at 35, having my first kid at 36. Your timeline is yours. Society doesn’t get a vote.

9. Financial Stress Over “Keeping Up” | Chasing Happiness in External Things

Define success on your own terms, not by someone else’s values..True long lasting contentment comes from within, not from achievements or stuff, or competing with others. Remember what is yours will always find its way to you. So be happy for others and be happy for where you are right now.

10. Ignoring Your Own Needs | Thinking Your Happiness Comes Last

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Listen, you matter too. Stop pouring from an empty cup. I’ve known someone very amazing in my life, who unfortunately constantly poured from an empty cup, when you do that, you feel burntout, not able to find your happiness. You need to do you, so your soul can enjoy being more generous.

11. Fear of Vulnerability

Being real connects us—pretending doesn’t. Especially in some cultures (looking at you, South Asian communities), women are conditioned to hide struggles, fake happiness, and fear judgment. But I’ve learned that real connection comes from honesty. Your real tribe will love you as you are.

12. Holding Onto Regrets

Mistakes are lessons. Learn, let go, move forward. Stop dwelling on that relationship that didn’t work, the money you lost, the kindness that wasn’t appreciated—it’s done. Holding onto regret and negative feelings only lowers your energy. Learn the lesson and move forward.

13. Fear of Aging

Aging is a privilege. Celebrate every chapter. Remind yourself that every new wrinkle you see is a story, a beautiful chapter of your life.

14. Limiting Beliefs

Stop underestimating yourself. You’re capable of more than you think. Sigh- again, I have seen this in the most wonderful people. Unfortunately people with the cleanest of hearts let the world bring them down, and they start believing that they will never be rich or own that house, or pass their exam. Stop putting negativity out there for yourself. 

15. Trying to Control Everything

Some things are beyond you—let them be. Do the best you can, and the rest is with God / universe/ destiny.

How I’m Actually Letting Go

• Setting boundaries – Protecting my time and energy. – Read my blog on boundaries Here & Here

• Living in the moment – Worrying about the past/future steals today.

• Celebrating small wins – Progress matters more than perfection.

• Surrounding myself with good energy – Because energy doesn’t lie. Tips for energy cleansing meditation here